But my life has been so crazy. I don't even know where to begin.
The Oscars were tonight, which are my most favorite day out of the entire year. And it was glorious.
I'm so stressed. And frustrated. I feel like a petty child. I need a serious life check. I am offended by everything, and get frustrated by the littlest things. I am so lazy and young. I haven't been able to go to the gym so I've been feeling absolutely disgusting. I don't have time or the energy to do all of my homework so I fall behind, not enough to affect my grades, I never miss an assignment, I just get really stressed. All the time.
And I don't feel close to any of my friends anymore. Little things add up. I think I get close to someone and they disappoint me. They get a boyfriend or get busy with life and I lose them. Or there's always someone better then me.
I feel distant from Nick. I feel gone when I'm with him, like I'm outside of my body. I'm insecure about us. Constantly thinking about the future. Worrying about us, wanting more. More commitment, more sensitivity, more vulnerability.
I need an awakening. This isn't the year I want. I need to make some changes.
Need need need.
Shut up Calla. Fuck.
I'm done.
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