And I know we are new to each other. But I need to complain a little.
I lost a friend today. No she didn't die or anything. I wouldn't be blogging if a friend died. I don't know what I would be doing.
I had this friend, Tina. We were really good friends all throughout high school, she was a year ahead of me. She was one of those girls that always really wanted to be in a relationship, like it meant a lot to her. She had a few flings but nothing serious in high school. Everything was big drama to her; she thrived in the theatrics of every day life. If you were not giving her your whole life as a friend, you were nothing to her. And even though she has been out of high school for three years now, nothing has changed. Tina was in a play over Christmas and I tried really hard to go but my work schedule didn't allow it. She said it wasn't a big deal, that she really appreciated me trying so hard.
I didn't hear from her for a week or so, so I tried to get a hold of her. She texted me last night, when I was actually having a pretty good night, and sent me the longest ass message ever, just ripping me apart, saying I was a liar and a bad person, bad friend, always trying to ruin her life. Just really really terrible things. It made me so mad, I could feel my insides boiling. I never understood that phrase before but I really felt it last night.
I just want to be happy. I want to be healthy and happy and I don't need shit like this. So I just said that I knew whatever I said wouldn't matter, so I said nothing at all. Her mind was made up, she just wanted to try and sound smart and hear herself talk, make herself this terrible victim. Like I put all my energy into making her feel awful.
I barely have enough energy to get up in the morning, let alone make another person feel terrible and purposefully do things and say things to make them feel awful.
Whatever. She sent me another nasty text today saying she didn't want to be my friend. Well she said a lot more then that, she said some really truly awful things. And I was really hurt, because of what she said, for a while. And then I was just mad. I just was so mad for wasting so much time for her, so much energy. And for what?
It was just what I needed to start this year fresh.
My birthday party is this Thursday. I'm really excited, it's a 1920's theme, like speakeasy, so it'll be fun to see everyone in their costumes. It'll be quite a group of misfits. And I love them all so dearly.
I promise the next post will be much more information about me. I would be annoyed just hearing some stranger spout off stupid small-town drama.
Love and kisses.
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